As we entered into the last week of February, I remembered I have this blog I haven't touched in a few weeks. February took an unexpected turn for our family when we lost my grandma. Nana had been very sick and weak for years, being on permanent oxygen, only able to walk about 20 steps before needing a break, unable to talk on the phone for long, etc. She lived that way for many years. I can't really say that she was a fighter because she was yearning for The Lord to take her Home most of that time. She loved us, her family and closest friends, SO much, but she knew her body was failing and was ready for her glorified body in heaven.

If anything, we thought we were losing Nana in mid-December when she had a small stroke or heart attack. (I wasn't aware of how bad off she was at the time.) She spent about 7 weeks in a hospital and rehabilitation center and then was sent home (to live, not for hospice) on Saturday, February first. She passed away in my parents home, her home the last 18 years, in the wee hours of the morning Saturday, February eighth.

CJ and I were immediately ready to buy plane tickets to come home. Right when we got married, we put the cost of two same day tickets to Dallas in our savings account for this very reason. However, our parents encouraged us to do what Nana had told me to do: not come home. Nana, our little diva, told us many many many times she didn't want people making a big fuss and stopping their lives when she died---she wanted them to do that while she was still here!! (again her words) Thankfully, The Lord allowed that to happen. I had just been in Dallas for nine days and got to spend hours visiting her each day at her rehabilitation center. I was there January 21st-30th and we had a great talk on the phone Wednesday, February 5.

My mom followed all of Nana's wishes and did not have a funeral. There was a simple burial service with about 8 family members. Since I was not there my mom suggested writing something to be read a the funeral. It was hard to know what to say. What do you say when you lose the wisest person you'll ever know, your 'other mother,' and your roommate of 13 years??? Eventually this is what came out...

“Remember Lindsay, He is the ‘Father of mercies and God of all comfort.’” This was the last sentence Nana spoke to me both the last time I saw her on January 29 and the last time I spoke to her on the phone on February 5. This truth comes from 2 Corinthians 1:3.

Nana always shared with us (and whoever walked in the door) the scriptures she was currently studying. Though she had read through the Bible numerous times, she would dwell on specific verses for weeks at a time and marvel over the majesty of God and His promises. Another verse she recently shared to us on a daily basis came from Hebrews 1:14, which talks about angels being sent to minister to the heirs of salvation. During Nana’s last part of her life, she didn’t just memorize these verses but she truly experienced them as only one filled with the Holy Spirit could.

Nana has been my constant companion since she moved in with our family when I was in first grade. Countless evenings it would be just the two of us, as my parents and brother were off at sporting events or other activities. For about the first 7 years of this relationship, it was her providing for me, whether it be with physical food, companionship while I played and “performed” for her, or spiritual wisdom.

This all came full circle, as I would come home to visit from college but especially during the 15 months I lived at home after graduation. There were many nights that it was again just Nana and me, but now it was me who would set up her dinner and make sure to visit or watch TV with her for companionship. And though I am nowhere near close to her spiritual maturity, The Lord would allow me to encourage her by reading the Bible to her and having deep discussion over the different things we were learning.

But while these roles might have flipped, she never stopped being my Nana. The last day I saw her, I laid with her in her hospital bed, resting my head on her chest. She was still my Nana. No amount of physical weakness or age would ever change that.

Though while it is so hard to comprehend that she is really gone, there was at first an unexplainable peace. But as I was reminded of these two verses that had been so pressed upon her heart recently I know exactly why I have such peace. It is because there is a spirit ministering to me as a humble heir of salvation and because as second Corinthians 1:3-4 says “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercy and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble, with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” How gracious is our Lord God to place that verse upon her heart and for her to share it, in the midst of her own physical troubles, right as we would need it most. 

We have a gracious God. 

A challenging but good reminder

February rant: February messes with me. We all know February is a 'short' month. Even though it is only 2-3 days shorter than the other 11 months, knowing that makes it seem like it is dragging the first 27 days. Somehow, my mind has convinced me that February is going to fly-by faster than the rest, as if the days are even shorter. For example, I spent the first couple hours today legitimately thinking it was February eighth, and that Valentines Day was this coming weekend.  I couldn't believe when I realized that it was ONLY February third.  ((I realize this makes absolutely no sense))

Here is a picture taking on February FIRST! Wade was in Richmond for work, so we drove down and spent the afternoon with him. We did some exploring & museum-ing and finished the evening with an AMAZING dinner and view at The Boat House.

To avoid any further February Freak outs...I'll focus on the end of January

Before we even moved to Virginia, I knew I would be headed back to Texas the last weekend of January for a dear, lifelong friend's wedding.  It was SUCH a blessing that I would be able to fly in to celebrate! The blessing increased tenfold, after CJ and I decided it was best for us to not go back to Texas during the holidays. Knowing I was going to be seeing so many of my friends and family just a month after Christmas made it totally okay.  We decided then that I should stay for longer than just the wedding weekend, so I could maximize my Texas Time. I was, of course, sad to leave my husband, but then I was ECSTATIC when CJ's schedule switched around to where he was going to be in the field (meaning not coming home at all) the week before the wedding and the first part of the week after the wedding. That meant me going to Dallas (for over a week!) would have us barely missing any extra time together. It couldn't have been more perfect!!

But then the snowpocalypse came, and the wonderful, logical, purposeful schedule was shattered.

I ended up having to move my flight to an earlier one to get out of DC before the snowstorm hit. CJ didn't even have to report to work the first 36 hours I was gone and the rest of the time was basically half days. Of the 7 nights they were supposed to spend in the field, the weather allowed them to spend only 1.  And even that 1 night was too much. A number of CJ's fellow Marines suffered from frost bite and other cold weather related injuries. 

I was so happy for CJ to get ample rest, relaxation, and VERY rare (like the first time since moving here) alone time. However, it made me miss him SO much more knowing I was missing an abundance of time with him and probably the easiest two weeks (time wise) of the whole six months....not to mention the dread I had knowing all of those nights would have to be made up- once I was back.

It was a needed yet hard reminder, that we can plan and schedule (my two favorite hobbies) all we want, but we ultimately are not in control.

The wedding weekend was INCREDIBLE, JOYFUL, LOVELY, and so jam-packed that it was the only two days I wasn't desperately missing CJ! Thank you Huffs and Haltoms for such a memorable, beautiful, uplifting weekend!

Here are some fun pictures!

At Amy's Bridal Luncheon

 High school friends at Amy and Ryan's wedding

 My wonderful parents!

Me with #HappilyHaltom!!!! She was so beautiful!!!

I made the most of my other days in Texas spending lots of quality time with my parents, Nana, sister, niece and nephew, and college friends! 

I also spent LOTS of hours working on my education class. Thankfully Snow was always there to keep me company. 

I've never been a big animal person, but I did tear up saying bye to him. He was so happy to have me back (he has slept in my room the 7 years we've had him), and I felt terrible not being able to explain to him why I was leaving again and that I wouldn't be back for a long time.

My trip was SO wonderful, but I definitely felt like I was visiting Dallas, as opposed to just coming home, which I think is a good thing. It was such a sweet moment to be reunited with CJ!  There will be lots of reunions to come and I know they will only get sweeter.

SemperFi {AlwaysFaithful}